Sunday, November 28, 2010

Ghost Story

Egad!  What schlock! 

The idea is there, and the idea interests me, but the first rough draft of my comical ghost story reads like nothing more than a scribbling of ideas strung together incoherently. 

To abandon or not to abandon?

I shall give it one more attempt, and should I fail . . . then it's back to the drafting board for yet another, one of many, stories within my collection.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Writer's Report - oh, those cliches!

Writer's report:

Submissions: 2
Rejections: 1

I started a new story last night--sort of spur of the moment, though the idea has been rolling around in my head for quite some time.  Judging by my last post, I was rather harsh about the over abundance of horror stories centered around zombies and vampires (which annoys me immensely).  I'm not saying that I hate the creatures--quite the contrary.  But it's far too excessive.  I long for a good ole' fashion ghost story, or a demonic possession (not of the teenage girl variety), or maybe even a frightening tale about squirrels.  Therefore, I decided to try my hand with a few of these monsters.

First, I contemplated (and even started) a comical piece centered around a haunted trail (for Halloween) in which two unlucky enthusiasts survive a terrifying night in which the haunted trail is littered with zombies; however, our two main characters are completely oblivious to the concept because A) it's a haunted trail; and B) they're stoned.  But do you see what I did there?  Gah . . . a cliche!  Two stoners, oblivious to the horrifying elements they're enduring, yet comically triumph over a terrifying night of zombies?!  Gah!  Cliche!

I'm better than that.

So I decided to write a vampire story instead in which a vampire enlists as a German medical officer stationed in France during World War II so he may feed on the blood of fallen soldiers.  And then . . . gah!  Cliche!  Not too mention author David Bishop wrote Operation Vampyr: Fiends of the Eastern Front  which is, as you may have guessed, a story about German-allied vampires during World War II, though they were stationed in Russia.

So . . . stepping aside from such embarrassing and cliched outlines for a story, I decided instead to begin a humorous story about a ghost who has the misfortune of returning to the land of the living . . . as a vampire . . . and as a zombie . . . and as a demonic possession.

Okay, so maybe the story stills walks along those conventional cliches.  Vampires.  Zombies.  Psht . . . so what if I am spinning off an idea from the same mundane characters?  At least I know they're mundane.

Ergo,  new story in the works.  I still have a few others which need some serious revision, but for now, enjoying the holidays, I'm going to crank out a little humorous tale.  Thus far: 1,288 words.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Zombies . . . Vampires . . .

"Avoid sending us zombie stories...we get way too many of those and they aren't all that original." - Golden Visions Magazine, submission guidelines

* * *

I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of zombie and vampire stories.  They're everywhere.  I mean, seriously . . . do you remember the vampires of the '90s--how cliche the idea was to be this ultra-gothic, sexually demonic, mysterious entity with some clever stage name like Drake Alexander.  

I mean seriously, everyone comments on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Series, but that's nothing compared to the past twenty years or so . . .

Not to mention the countless movies and musical acts centered around vampirism.  I won't even list the number of vampire-goth-black-metal bands that took the stage with fangs and long, black, sharpened finger nails.

But today it's zombies.  Zombies, zombies, zombies . . . everywhere!  Zombies!  The apocalypse is truly upon us!  Just look:

Zombies!  They're everywhere!  A countless number of short stories, novels, humorous books, comics, movies, illustrations, conventions--not to mention zombie walks (a public display where numerous individuals dress up in zombie costumes and linger about public places such as malls, parks, city centers)--and the list just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.


Could we perhaps, I don't know, move on to something else?  What about mummies?  Why isn't there a mummy craze?  What's so special about zombies anyway?  And for that matter, vampires?

I must admit that I have read my fair share of vampire novels, even loved a few.  Poppy Z. Brite's Lost Souls definitely ranks number one on my vampire novel list.  And I've read a few zombie stories, including Max Brook's Zombie Survival Guide, which I admit was insightful and comical.  But still . . . WHEN IS IT GOING TO END?! 

Zombies . . . vampires . . . vampires . . . zombies . . . vampires . . . zombies . . . zombies . . .

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Intimidation . . .

Scoping out these blogs by various writers, reading their daily rants about achieving success and/or failure, browsing their bibliography . . . wow!

I'm only at the very beginning of this madness (hopefully) and thoroughly envy all of you who at least have a fanbase . . .

I better get to work!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Untitled Fable

I have recently written, and am currently in the process of editing and re-writing (lies!) a little fable-esque story which falls along the adventurous lines of Jim Henson's Labyrinth and possibly Neil Gaiman's Mirrormask while teetering on the edge of Lewis Carrol's Alice In Wonderland.

The story concerns a girl (Ditzy) who loses her baby (Whoopsie) when she is kidnapped by the dreadful Boogeyman.  And so begins Ditzy's quest, with the unlikliest of strangest friends, as she tries to rescue Whoopsie before the Boogeyman turns her into a nightmare.  And like any quest, it isn't easy . . . filled with puzzles and danger and mazes every step of the way.  

I hope to post some examples here soon, but as I have a lot to do today, I will instead post a few pictures which I hope to include amidst this trippy mess . . .


All those forgotten books

The books you've forgotten over the years  . . . those stories, hard to recall.  Are there any books that hide in the shadows of your mind?  Book that make you think: hmm, I read it; but when?  Why?  And what the hell was the title and who the hell was the author?!

Books, like any style of artistic expression, are subject to genre-biases.  For example: there are those who read The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, and then there are those who read The Saga of Seven Suns by Kevin J. Anderson.  And I am proud to be genre-biased.  I own The Saga of Seven Suns; furthermore, I don't even care about this whole Twilight saga [sic] to begin with--read it, don't read it; love it, hate it; emo, artist; tomato, potato--who cares? 

But yeah, yeah . . . who cares?  Right?

Being as I am, (and that doesn't mean I don't read mainstream fiction), I often read randomly.  My tastes change ever-so often and if I see book I think I may like, I'll buy it.  Book stores are a nemesis of my personal monetary goals.  I'm always buying books and magazines.  And some of those books are gone.  Gone to friends, ex-lovers, used book stores . . . the garbage. 

But which books?  What were they?

There are a number of books rolling around inside my head that I just can't seem to recall in grave detail.  I know I read it, I know what it was about, I even remember a scene or two and various descriptions.  But what the title was, who the author was . . . I haven't the faintest.

I wish I could remember these books . . . I mean, I remember reading Weasel by Cynthia C. DeFelice when I was like 12 years old (and that was 17 years ago), but books which came later in my years, like when I was in college . . . poof!  Gone!

I mean, there was this book which had a black cover, with a girl, and gears from a clock tower, and there was a pocket watch; and I remember a scene with a bad guy from her dreams, and she belched this purple light which the bad guy caught and proceeded to eat, ultimately leading to his demise. 

And I remember reading this homo-erotic vampire story, where people are converted into the realm of the undead via Dracula's(?) phallus. 

And then there was that book about farming . . . an entire full-length novel about farming . . . corn . . . soil . . . chickens . . . farming . . . Ohio.

There are others I assure you, books that are just lingering in the deepest crevices of my wrinkled brain.  And it drives me insane . . .

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Kayla says my new layout/design for my personal blog is childish . . . well of course it is!  What am I other than a big child?!  I mean, my blog is titled "The Satanic Teddybear" and that's me to a tee . . . totally cuddly, cute, yet with a touch of the dark.  So yes, this is my personal blog and it's childish! 

In the meantime, I'm going to try getting things rolling over at Wordpress, where I hope to a host a more "professional" blog which really only caters to my dreams, triumphs and failures as a writer.  Check it out, there's a link on the left.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

A writer writes . . . and is accepted!

For years I have befriend this machine before me, using it to link letters together to form words into stories and poems.  For years I have hated this machine as I searched and searched and searched for a market that might accept my stories.  And for years I have cried before this machine as I received rejection after rejection after rejection.

But I never gave up.

And so finally, after all those years, I am proud to announce that two of my stories are forthcoming in the short-story market!

Careful What You Wish For is slated for a spring release from Title Goes Here: in there e-zine.  It's a story about a weed which wishes to be a flower.  Befriending a worm, which blossoms into a butterfly, this little plant never loses hope of one day being as beautiful as a flower.  But even beauty has its ugliness.

Outside the Box is also slated for a spring release from Bard's and Sages Quarterly in their spring issue.  It's a story about a crayon . . . the terrible life of a crayon.  What exactly is outside the box? 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Rotten Sushi . . .

Yeah, it was rotten . . .

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Rotten Sushi?

No such thing!  Who cares if the expiration date is two days ago?!  Rotten, raw squid doesn't bother me!  I'm eating it!

And so I did . . . I ate it.

And it was good.  A little chewier than usual.  I guess I will just have to wait and see later tonight, possibly tomorrow morning, if it truly was rotten . . .

In the meantime, Kayla wants to get latte and cupcakes.

Mmm . . . what a wonderful day!  Rotten squid and an extra-large latte with an extra shot of espresso!