Meepers Creepers Go VaroooBOOM!

 The Story . . .

Thursday. 10:19 pm. 56 degrees.  Scattered showers -- ending a week-long torrential rainfall. Warning: flash flooding in various areas; road conditions: wet.  Still a beautiful night. Not too cold, not too warm. The past hour saw a passing rain cloud which brought a cool breeze to the warm spring air. It's the type of night in which C___ considers leaving work early (as there's no work to be done) and going home to spend a comfortable evening with a cigar and a glass of wine, hopefully ending the night within the comfortable embrace of his girlfriend's arms -- who, as of late, has witnessed an embrace of fate all her own. It doesn't take much dileberation valuing a comfortable night over a few hours of pay for no work.  Ergo, C___ logs of his station, packs up his things, says goodbye to one or two other employees -- who are weighing their own pros and cons for a mere few hours of pay for no work -- and leaves. With a perk smile upon his face he waves goodbye to the front-desk security guard. Then he strides out into the cool night and prepares to head home.

It's a quick drive, no more than 30 - 35 minutes (tops), and before he sets out he tosses on a classic album (Immortal - Sons of Northern Darkness) and drives off. The roads are wet, a few slick-spots seem possible, but overall it's a relatively easy commute. Not too many cars on the road. A few other drivers, most likely retiring for the evening after a day of work or going home after a relaxing evening with friends. C___ can't help but notice the soaring gas prices these days, but he smiles. The expense of gas is of little to no concern for him. After all, he recently upgraded from having no car -- which briefly followed an average run with a piece of s___ car -- to what is now a fuel-efficient car. A 2008 Honda Fit which gets 30-34 miles to the gallon (city-highway) and rides as smooth as BOOM!

From the other lane: a smack, a pop. The other driver failing to observe the rules of the road attempts a left hand turn from the opposing direction. Unknowingly, unintentionally, unintelligently, she accidentally failed to yield and crossed C___'s lane. The collision isn't grave . . . thankfully. Everyone is fine. A little shaken and nervous, but no loss of limbs. Both parties step out, share a cigarette (though only in act), and patiently wait for the police to show up and begin taking notes before issuing citations and permitting them all to leave the scene.

It doesn't take long. Not long at all. The police arrived . . . promptly. And did their thing . . . promptly. And just as his night had began, C___ was back in his car enjoying the evening; or rather, enjoying it the best that he could with a constant RaaaTLinG from the engine while the hazard-lights repetitiously blink -- alerting the other drivers that this particular individual is driving f___ing slow for a reason! Said reason being, of course, that it's a nice night and one should not waste one second of it.

He does not fret. Not one bit. What has happened, happened. He could cry. He could complain. Or he could, instead, continue dreaming about a fine cigar, a fine glass of wine and a fine woman. So he drives. And he smiles. And he rolls the window down, enjoying the cool breeze on the warm spring air while simultaneously airing out the slight odor of melting rubber coming from an over-heating engine.

The Facts . . .


As of late the fates have saw fit to deliver onto me motor-vehicular hardships. Without all the mundane details (which really do nothing other than seek sympathy), the facts are that my new car seems prone to mishaps. What was once affectionally nicknamed Meepers Creepers is now undergoing a revision (in both name as well as body). I'm thinking of naming her The Curse. I mean, seriously . . . just look! 





So, the collision . . .

 

A month or so ago someone dinged my read drver-side door (presumably with their car door) . . .





To top it all off, someone spit on my car (presumably) . . .

When Revision Becomes Re-Imagine

For years I have been working on a short story which has plagued my imagination for quite some time -- the idea of which sparked within my brain during my short stint as an employee at a bookstore some four or five years ago. It was a story which took one wintery day and an entire pot of coffee to begin. I wrote on a whim, allowing the words to free-flow without any real thought or purpose as to where they may lead; and what I wound up with was a twenty-page manuscript which had no ending and just a lot of dribble-drabble which I loved. Good enough!

It took a few months before I really found my way to a conclusion; after which came the inevetiable (and dreadful) revision process. So I sat down with a printed copy, started up a pot of coffee, and began reading openly without any bias (a bias which can only be described as I-am-the-author-of-this-here-masterpiece-and-feel-every-word-of-it-is-masterfully-crafted!). And when I was finished I set down my coffee and my manuscript, gently rose from my favorite sitting position (crossed legged on the couch), walked into my office, turned on my computer and began playing a multiplayer first-person-shooter game to help relieve my utter disappointment and frustration at having crafted the biggest pile of slushy crap to ever grace a 5,000+ word-count -- I figured that perhaps it's best to stick with what I'm truly good at: shooting counter-terrorists across open fields with long-scope sniper-rifles!

Anyway, it was only a matter of time until I decided to sit down and try my hand at editing the original piece, but I knew that this revision was going to bear the scars of more than just a grammatical operation . . . the plot needed to undergo a messy dissection! So I made a pot of coffee, smoked a few cigarettes, and scratched my head for awhile (because I had dandruff at the time) and began to muse about what exactly needed to change. Then it occurred to me: less words!

WARNING! Lesser word-count does not a good revision of plot make!

I know that many times a short story must undergo a dramatic transformation in length in order to fit the scope of publishable material (most zines I submit to request under 5,000 words), but to try and fix a plot by merely chopping off words left and right is truly a macabre way of crafting a story!

So there I was, again, back in my office, sitting at my computer -- only this time playing a game of chess online as I had deemed gaming to be a distraction and set out to uninstall every game I had so as to focus on more important things in life; but not straying from the rationale that gaming is a much needed stress reliever . . . I merely justified that if I am going to play a game online then it should at least be game which takes intelligence!

Anyway, long story short (too f___ing late!) I finally decided to have a go at the story one more time (which by this point had seen at least five revisions -- in both plot and length, but to no avail). Even though I was in the midst of revising/rewriting another story I decided to make a pot of coffee, light up a cigar, scratch my head (this time in thought . . . dandruff gone!) and set out rewriting what I had originally intended for all those years ago! But I knew the plot was still in dire need of a change and so I wondered to myself: what could be more drastic than erasing a character altogether? And poof!, I set out with a brand new revision.

One week, seven cigars and twelve pots of coffee later, I'm left with a brand new story that has a 9,000+ word-count and is now in dire need of a serious revision all its own! GAH!

But it wasn't all for naught . . . right? It's all about the crafting of crap, not the crappy craft . . . right?

Anyway, I feel slightly more hopeful with this new re-imagining. It still isn't how I figured the piece should or could have been, but I am coming to grips with it being one of those stories that just may not be suitable for zines seeking smaller word-counts. After all, a story is more than just words.

Philosophical Pondering: Aspiring vs' Accomplished

It seems these days that almost anyone and everyone claims esteemed titles such as author, artist, or musician but are merely aspiring individuals of said arts, rather than accomplished. But that in itself is a vague notion . . . for what does it truly mean to be an aspiring artist or an accomplished one?

In the past I was always under the assumption that if you were an individual who had an artistic piece (be it poem, song, or drawing) produced in some sort of mass-marketed format (i.e. magazine, record, or comic strip) then you were by very definition an accomplished artist. This notion was somewhat shaped by my academic understanding of said fields. As a student of creative writing I had to study accomplished authors who had works featured in various formats (zines, anthologies, colletions, et cetera) for I was merely an aspiring writer who had to emulate these individuals. They were authors, I was merely a writer. And so the very idea of being published was something I held in high regard. And so I set out seeking my title.

Well, after two years or so of rejections I began to doubt myself. I thought that perhaps there was something wrong with my writing (which had undergone extreme evolutions -- both in style and content) until I found out what was wrong were the markets I was submitting to. I was an aspiring writer seeking publication amidst accomplished authors. How foolish of me? So I switched gears. Instead of seeking big-press I set my sights on small-press. But now, to my horror, it seems that a vast number of markets open to aspiring writers are becoming overrun by those already accomplished in the field.

Small-press, indie-labels and self-publications are more popular than ever . . . in fact, it's almost become a title in its own right: indie artist, self-published author. And more often than not many individuals who find themselves in these markets are by very definition accomplished! They may not seek the bigger markets or venues as they have made their mark in the smaller ones and continue to do so.

It seems to me that one may claim the title as accomplished (in any format) by sheer popularity (be it fandom or proof of economic status). And it goes without saying these days that the quickest and easiest method to get your name out there and attract groups of people is through multiple online avenues. Anymore, an author doesn't need to be published in a magazine that rests on magazine stands in chains of bookstores -- nor do they need to be published in smaller zines found at local coffee shops or independently own books stores -- today, almost anyone can publish their work online (regardless of the website). And depending on how many individuals visit the site and read their story then, by definition, they are an accomplished author.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing for those who are aspiring writers? What does it truly take to become accomplished? Furthermore, what does it truly mean to be accomplished?

I have seen a few of my stories in print for the very first time, and I continue to write as I dream of being an accomplished author. I am also a musician who has played on stages in local venues, recorded a few demos and albums, even made some home video recordings which I have featured on YouTube.com. And through it all I am still an aspiring artist. At what point in time may I claim myself as accomplished? Does that even matter? Who knows . . . all I know is I like to write and I love to play music . . . and oh, how I wish people would love me for it!

Look, a Book!

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
by Susanna Clarke

Vastly articulate and intellectually enthralling Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is one of those rare books which actually catapults you (the reader) into a world of its own magical devices as it sucks you into the fantastical visions of first-time novelist Susanna Clarke. Most notably, upon first inspection of this book, is its great length -- which, many fans of fantasy are accustomed too -- but to tell such a lengthy story without expanding decades or centuries or travels to and fro dangerous lands littered with snarling beasts is quite the feat . . . more so for a first-time writer. But the length of the novel is one of the more remarkable things about it, for the story contained within is actually quite uneventful, yet fascinating! There were by no means any moments of pure boredom (despite multitudes of filler), and though a number of scenes are rather dull, focusing more on dialogue, descriptions and language rather than actual climatic situations, the plot continues to thicken. And thicken. And thicken. Indeed, it's quite puzzling how the book continues to drag on and on, expanding on characters to the point of exhaustion, yet never falters, and instead only continues to grab your interest. And then, when it almost seems apparent that the book is going to suddenly end without any real conclusion, that's when the story finally spirals drastically, proving to be a real tour-de-force demanding your utmost attention and desire!

There is something undoubtedly remarkable about this book, but it comes from so many different avenues that it's hard to truly pinpoint what makes it so remarkable. I had been told by a number of fans that this was a great story, but that is an argument better suited for the various schools of thought when concerning the sole definition of story. For example, if one were seeking a story of grand adventure, look elsewhere. If one were looking for a story concerning the battle of good and evil, look elsewhere (although there is plenty of good and evil in this story). Yet if one were looking for a story that delves deep into the human condition, then this is definitely the book! But whereas most stories surrounding this style are better suited for mainstream fiction or memoirs, this one pulls it off in a work of fantasy, Finally, a novel that interweaves fantasy and fiction (in the most broadest of definitions) without being hokey or too overbearing.

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is a novel for any reader. Fans of mainstream fiction would love it as well as fans of fantasy and science-fiction, and in almost any age group -- though the youthful fanatics of fantasy these days may find the book terribly dull without its cliched romances and monsters; nevertheless, I am sure that any true lover of stories would be most pleased to stumble into the world of Susanna Clarke.

So . . . Great Book, Great Read!

This review and many others by me can be found at Goodreads: C. D. Brinker review.

Careful What You Wish For at Title Goes Here:

My short story Careful What You Wish For is featured at Title Goes Here: Online Edition (Issue 1.4 - April 2011).

Brief Synopsis
Careful What You Wish For tells the story of a weed that dreams of becoming a flower, but fails to realize that beauty comes with a price.

Please visit Title Goes Here: and check it out!

Happy reading!

Outside the Box at Bards and Sages Quarterly

My short story Outside the Box is featured in Bards and Sages Quarterly (Volume III, Issue No. 2 - Spring, 2011).

Brief Synopsis:
Outside the Box is a colorful little tale about the life of a crayon, and the horrors therein.

Please visit Bards and Sages Quarterly and check it out. PDF and print copies are available at Amazon.com.

Happy reading!

Friend or Foe? at Golden Visions Magazine

My short story Friend or Foe? is featured in Golden Visions Magazine (Issue No. 14 - Spring, 2011).

Brief Synopsis
Friend or Foe? concerns itself with that age-old question: are we alone in the universe?

Please visit Golden Visions Magazine and check it out. A PDF copy as well as a print version of the issue are available for purchase.

Happy reading!

Look, a Book!

You can read my review of Livi Michael's The Whispering Road at Goodreads: C. D. Brinker review.

Please visit my personal collection of books at Goodreads: C. D. Brinker  (or simply click on the button on the right of my blog) and check out my other reviews.

Suffice it to say . . . Decent Book, Good Read.

Look, a book!

You can read my review of Jesse Bullington's The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart at Goodreads: C. D. Brinker review.

Or you can also find it at: Skull Salad Reviews

Please visit my personal collection of books at Goodreads: C. D. Brinker  (or simply click on the button on the right of my blog) and check out my other reviews.

Suffice it to say . . . Good Book, Good Read.

On track . . .

Whew! What a ride it has been these past few weeks/months. A lot has been accomplished, and I am ever so grateful that it's all over . . . and just in time for spring too!

The list thus far:

1. Finished moving (unpacking)
2. Bought a car
3. Turned 30
4. Published (upcoming spring issues)
5. Passed exam for CPhT

1. Unpacking always sucks! Especially when you have as much junk as I do. My closet is filled with old toys, old notebooks, boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of novels I've yet to read, a couple of guitars, a bass and drum pads . . . and that's just in our very apartment! At my folks storage/garage I have more guitars, an entire drum kit, old video games, et cetera. I have a lot of junk! But alas, our apartment is fully furnished and decorated (for the most part). As such, I decided to reward my efforts by doing the following puzzle:

Definitely not easy! Kayla bought me the puzzle for Christmas after I saw a few puzzles based on M. C. Escher's art and expressed a desire to do one. Little did I know that putting together a puzzle that's completely black and white is ever-so freaking difficult! But it'll be worth it in the end. And when I'm finished, it will hopefully be framed and hung up on some wall. Joyous!

2. Yeah, I finally went out and bought a car. A 2008 Honda Fit. A little hatchback of the soccer-mom variety, or so people mock, but I like it! The hatchback provides a quick and easy way for me to transport music equipment and the fact that it gets 35 mpg is just plain awesome!

She has been named Meepers Creepers on account that Kayla likes to joke about the car, often saying "Meep, meep," in reference to my driving the thing; and of course the other half of her name is derived from my musical tastes. Ergo, the name fits . . . pun intended! Sadly, however, some nimrod nicked/dented the rear door (presumbly by whacking their door into mine) just 10 days after my acquiring the vehicle.

3. Turned 30.

4. Getting published . . . yes, finally! After years and years of writing and submitting and reading rejection letters that begin with Dear ______________ we are so delighted that you took an interest in our magazine, but [. . .] I am finally seeing a few stories in print. More details on that later . . .

5. And finally, after fretting and avoiding a much needed certification for the better half of a year, I passed the exam for my CPhT. What is a CPhT? It's an acronym! Duh! Okay, but what it stands for is Certified Pharmacy Technician. I work for a pharmacy, have for years, and about a year ago I was accepted into the Technician Department on the approval that I earn my CPhT within one year as is required by law. So, to put it simply, failing to obtain my certification as a CPhT means losing my job! At first, I didn't care, but as the months wore on and the deadline grew nearer I really began to freak out . . . more so because Kayla has the exact same job as I do and told me horror stories about her exam and just how hard it was. Needless to say, I studied college-cram style for about a week and passed the exam. So all is good. I get to continue to sit in a cubicle wasteland! Yay! But seriously, I'm very delighted to have this certification.

. . . and that's all folks! With everything all wrapped up and completed I can finally get back on track with other endeavors. I still have a few projects and a number of stories in the works and now find myself with a giant load of free time to spend however I wish! With spring here, my days really do seem to get brighter and longer! (How cheesy?)