THIS DORKY THING!
There's no way you could possibly look cool lugging that heavy thing. And d____ those things were heavy. I remember in high school when I actually put on a pair of marching-xylophones (for our marching band didn't believe in drum-pits) and I was amazed at how heavy those things were. I really gave it to the two girls for maintaining the stamina to keep up out on the field, but man I was glad to have been Sectional Leader (by seniority) and snare 1.
. . . because that thing was so much more cooler than those dorky xylophones!
But in truth, I hated the snare. I hated the xylophone. And I really hated the crash cymbals (an unfortunate instrument forced upon freshman). I just wanted to play the drums people. And the guitar. And the bass. And video games and chess and Risk. So I did . . .
. . . .as I proclaim, thus I am.